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Marriage is a sacred institution and an integral part of humanity that is not open to all corners affair. Hence, marriage requires serious preparation before going into it. God who acted as the first ‘officiating minister’ in the Adam and Eve marriage took time to prepare Adam and positioned him (Adam) to have a marriageable mind set before his wife (Eve) came into his life, but unfortunately Adam failed to prepare himself fully for the business of marriage.
Thus he failed woefully to the anger of God to take full command and control of his family. The resultant effect was that they were chased out of the Garden of Eden which God in his wisdom had prepared for them to stay and established as first family. Seriously speaking that marriage was a failure. Marriage is the legal union of a man and a woman as husband and wife. “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air, and over everything that moveth upon the earth” Gen. 1:28 & 2:18.
There is a common adage that says, he who fails to plan, only plans to fail. Marriage institution certainly requires preparation like a student who is going for an examination and hopes to excel or pass.
Marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman as Husband and Wife and not between a boy and a girl. I say legal, because it can be done in the court, church or traditional and the rights and privileges attached to it are binding on the parties involved. Marriage is covenant between a man and a woman joined together as Husband and Wife.
Marriage is not a contract neither is it a business union like partnership kind of business. It is also not a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. Once a marriage is contracted a dowry or bride price must be paid, if not, the marriage will not be scripturally footed or legal. The money must come from the bride groom’s earnings or savings and not the bride to bring money for her bride price to be paid. If the bride (lady) brings money from her savings or earnings for her dowry and secretly gives to the man to pay as her dowry, the marriage has already started on faulty foundation and satan who is jealous and afraid of marriage which God cheers a lot will sooner or later steps into such faulty marriage institution to cause crisis in diverse dimensions in the areas of finance, child-bearing, happiness, progress and consist quarreling between the husband and wife. These vices could result in broken homes. So, young men going into marriage should endeavour to avoid this satanic trap.
Every Christless foundation is bound to hit a rock, the marriage that is built on faulty foundation is bound to crash, and when it is not built on a family foundation, it will be marriage on crises, Ps. 11:3 “if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” but if the foundation is being destroyed, you can rebuild it again by taking the marriage to Christ. When you marry somebody that is not compatible with you, you are building on a faulty foundation. You marry somebody that shares the same vision with you then your marriage is on sound foundation. When you borrow money or suit for your marriage it is faulty foundation, when you refuse to tell each other that you have children for somebody else before marry it is also a faulty foundation.
Some of the expected preparations of the bride groom are as follows:
- It is always the duty of the man to look for a wife and massively woo her and spoil her with gifts, no wonder, the scripture says in Proverbs.18:16, that a man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men and women (including your would be wife).
- Before Abraham became prosperous in life and called the ‘father of all nations’ as recorded in Genesis, Abraham moved from his biological father’s house to were God shown him. So any man going for marriage should as a matter of urgency move out of his father’s house (family compound) to rent an apartment somewhere away from the family house.
This has some deliverance undertone or connotation attached to it. First, it makes the man to avoid the family or generational tie holding every one bound in the family, it also helps him to some-how escape the satanic and environmental curse prevalent in the family.
- You don’t need to tell someone or friend to find a wife for you. This is wrong; you have to pray for a wife and make out time to search for her. So that the favour of God would visit your marriage. In Proverbs.18:22 the Bible says, whoever finds a wife, find’s a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.
- You must look for a believer (Christian) sister and not a believer sister that could not keep home, but talk too much and eat too much and cannot even pray. As a matter of fact, you can tell God the kind (description) of a woman you want as a wife and God would provide that for you.
THINGS TO AVOID WHEN SEEKING FOR MARRIAGE PARTNER (SPOUSE)
- Don’t marry a gambler.
- Don’t marry a sexy fellow or someone with high libido because she can kill you with sex.
- Don’t sleep on same bed while dating.
- Don’t marry a lazy person.
- Don’t marry a fashion crazy fellow.
- Don’t marry someone who is deeply in love with money.
- Don’t marry someone who loves her parent more than you.
- Don’t marry a lady who has no respect for men.
REASONS FOR GOOD MARRIAGE
- To obey the command of God. Gen. 1:28
- For fellowship. Gen. 2:18
- For partnership. Eccl. 4:9-11
- To satisfy biological desires. Man is born with certain desires that is good, holy, and legitimate but can only be satisfied in marriage.
- For the propagation of the human race Gen. 9:1.
